i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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