He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
