Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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