what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
