i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
