U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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