Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
