I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
