just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
