Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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