Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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