You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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