Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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