stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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