she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
