even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
