Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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