it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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