Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
