I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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