can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
