you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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