Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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