he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize