y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
