So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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