this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
