Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
