So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
