Got a toothbrush?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
pray to the hookup gods
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
