My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
