what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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