You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
