i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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