despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I could fuck to npr.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
