Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
