I wanna bring you to show and tell
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
