We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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