I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
