Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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