She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
