she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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