Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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