I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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