Dual....:-)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
