my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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