even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
