I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whod you bang
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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