I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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