I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
