Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
