Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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