'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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