Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
