Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
