Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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