if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
