ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
