I faked an abortion last night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize