Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
