I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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