Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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