capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ketchup is God's man juice
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
