is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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