dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
